Mediocre Cupid

I hate OKCupid.

Of course, you get what you pay for, and since it’s a free website, your expectations can’t be that high.  I’ve been stood up twice recently, and had a date up and cancelled on me for no apparent reason.  And let’s be honest, the guys on there aren’t exactly stellar.

I’m not looking to “hook up” with anyone, so that knocks about 60% of the men out of contention by default.  I’m not into being with couples, so there goes about another 10%.

That leaves about 30%.  Not a great number.  And from that, I have to figure out which guy who can’t figure out how to fill out his profile, or is a torso, or is clearly lying is my future mate?  Feh, I say.

Perhaps next year I’ll try out one of the pay sites.

If life were fair, none of this would be a necessity.  Alas, it is.  For me.  I don’t want to be alone anymore.

And I’m so, so sick of making the first move.  I don’t like making the first move.  So often men act like that’s a sign of desperation, when really, it’s just a sign of being willing to be proactive.  But…

Whatever.  It’s hard not to get jaded.


I’m Not That Girl

I hate that there are people out there who think that they can use me.
I mean, I really, truly hate it.
There are a few people in my life who have made it clear that they don’t really care whether or not I’m actually interested in them, they’re willing to try to get me drunk enough to be able to, I don’t know, fool around with me without my actual consent? It’s not going to happen. Especially not with MARRIED men. No thank you. I will not be your side piece. I will not help you betray your partner. No. Absolutely not.

And to think I would want to do that, it hurts. And it makes me so angry that someone could think so little of me.

I have too much self-respect for that. And too much respect for relationships. That disgusts me. Truly. I don’t trust people who behave that way. I don’t like people who behave that way, and I certainly do not respect it.

Unfortunately this doesn’t just happen on dating websites, but when out at karaoke, it’s happened. And while I don’t show it while I’m out, I’ve been known to go home and cry about it. Judge that all you want, but it’s just so disrespectful. To me and to their partner. And even if they have an open relationship (though I often doubt when a man tells me that, for good reason, too.) I don’t want to be a part of that. I’m a monogamous person. I believe in commitment. I am exclusively interested in being a relationship with someone who feels the same way, and only wants to be with me.

Just talking about this turns my stomach.